Polycarbonate Body

live journal?. what's that?

2005-03-23T04:57:40Z

this is me updating. this is me for once having the drive to work on something scholastic, but having nothing to work on. this is me thinking i should be going to sleep since i know i won't be being productive tonight in anyway. this is me looking at the barf bag on my wall and being reminded of a better place called last week(london). this is me teabagging mike. this is me hoping it works out because that's the way the bee bumbles. love drew

one day i'll have a reason

2004-04-17T06:15:50Z

He stands on the same corner everyday, running his fingers through his ever growing salt and pepper beard. The corner peeking its head onto broadway but would rather stay on 4th, hoping to be overlooked. He mistakes my keys jingling for loose change that I owe him and I walk on. This time i don't call my destination what has been expected of me [class], i instead watch my reflection in the glass doors that would be my education, just walk past. and walk on. i walk further and the buildings soon recede, giving birth to air and foliage. it's the southeast corner of washington square park. i turn the 45 degrees and head toward the heart of it. garibaldi heh? i guess that's sorta cool. wonder why they built this place? Is it proof for the fuckup that is nyc? we need this park to balance out the overdriven, deleted past, "hip" island called manhattan. I don't belittle my surroundings. but shed light on the fact that maybe there was no bigger plan, bits and pieces thrown together., and this happened because people didn't ask questions. like. is that change in your pocket?. no. it's my keys. love drew

who is loving?

2004-03-28T06:34:08Z

It's a big grey haze just pulled over the eyes.
It's an allegory of human existence in human existence.
It's the way we drive our cars and walk our walks.
And the torn up floor boards and wheat-less brooms.
It's the half full red gas can sitting on the adjacent tar roof-top.
It's the pigeons blindly enjoying the styrofoam piece over in the corner.
It's this close to death with everything to fear. love drew

see it.

2004-03-21T20:54:00Z

So i wake up today to the completely unnecessary vibrations of my cellular phone. It's noon, and my eyes are better off sewn shut.. We didn't sleep much last night.. but with good reason.."I was surprised to see that you didn't update your journal after the viewing of last nights movie". it's true i didn't, and the truth is, i'm selfish.. I want the emotions from it all for myself. One of the best movies i have ever experienced and i can only wish it was written for me.. it has given birth to an obsolete truth, but done so in a manner not from this planet.. just see the fucking movie and you'll understand.. figure it out yourself. love drew

Quite. recessed. listening is the best tool for understanding.

crestfallen

2004-03-05T07:46:06Z

so they call it a banking style of education. one is fed information from an oppressed bottom feeding licker state of worth.. propped upon the pedestal is the one, the teacher, looking down upon the blank stairs of empty youth, waiting to be filled like a garbage can. but we do nothing, we say nothing and for that, we have nothing to show. does not mean we don't care. it means we don't know.. and i saw we because intelligence isn't defined by how much we think we know. it's defined by how much brain power is required to know.. so lets study hard and smile hard because soon we'll be picking from the garbage we've been filled with. oh well. we had to do something with the first 20 years of our lives. love drew

like i do.

2004-02-24T07:34:42Z

2:30 in the morning.. huh??.. oh yeah, thats from outside.. in my head, in my plans. worth months of nostalgic know how and frustrations ripped around a road that spells my bittersweet end. but you won't see, you won't understand that this is everyday. and everynight as well. but it's true. we all need windows to see outside from an angle that is fit only for us.. and you're not the problem. there is no problem, this isn't a problem. nothing is a problem. We only deface waht we think is a slight inkling of a situation that is worth an ounce of brain pressure. surely to be burnt at somepoint.. so lets just run with the flow and keep our mouths shut. love drew

where do you go with nothing in mind?

2004-02-02T06:56:17Z

So you see the 42 mile drive through the streak of dirt just barely beneath the concern of the windshield wiper fluid. You don't have sunglasses, and the sun guard is a poor excuse for a remotely useful device. Given the tiny left lane, negotiating sewage vents and imperfections in the road, you narrowly avoid an unwanted greeting from the car on your starboad side. The ride isn't bad however, you see The Empire State Building just peeking over the distant horizon, too far to make out details, but surely close enough to remind you that your destination isn't far. You arrive with an average time allotted, and begin the two trips up the 57 steps and bid your mother farewell. Your belongings are strewn about the green common room of your apartment, which you may temporarily claim your own due to the tardiness of your roommate. You grab your sunglasses which are so cleverly tacked to the wall and set out to acquire a much needed text book at the book store. You leave the apartment building and finally realize that the weather isn't penetratingly frigid. The holes in your shoes don't seem to notice the newly warmer temperatures and welcome whatever snow seems to come their way. The walk is short yet lonely, topped with a "we're closed". The walk back mirrors the previous voyage except with a sense of worthlessness and you soon find yourself back in your apartment. Too much work to do so you just open up your shades and examine the way the blinds cut the rays of sun and project interesting curves of light on your wall. With this newfound sense of creativity, you manage to feel a sort of empowerment with the fact that you can so easily manipulate the light rays. It's the little things that make you smile. love drew

so we're human?

2004-01-24T23:56:51Z

(..thought process, remember i'm just a dog..)
..damn it's cold. maybe i can try to sleep alittle more to help me forget where (more like what) i'm undoubtably forced to call home.. bound to this cage, 3 walls, and one i'm yet to understand. here i spend all day, everyday. no room to run, no contact with anyone.. .nothing. this is what it's like to be alone..
take me home.

i'm not scared

2003-12-29T07:58:02Z

we don't ask questions because we are all as guilty as the next.. he states. "i'll help for free", but will not.. we'll be in touch. but we won't. i'll see you tomorrow. but i won't.. it's fit into this arrogance of an existence that we call humanity where we fish not for a direction, a purpose, but to validate our past.. well honey, thats just nuts
love drew

i hate the system.

2003-12-13T03:19:10Z

4 hours.. beep beep.. that little room.. they say the walls mean soothing things... "Cough" said the sickly spanish women sitting in the center of the room.. staFany TayLar?? tick tock tick tock.. "i hurt my finger playing sports. b..basketball..." the bum gave up.. hmm, maybe i'll go sooner?.. tick tock tick tock.. how is your humanities reading coming along?? "its all right" Drew Olsen??, pow!, thats me, i'm here, Drew Olsen?? yeah yeah!, thats me, run quick, be noticed damn it.. oh sorry, i didn't mean to kick your leg like that.. "it's fine" now i'm alone. the room is colder, but at least cleaner... bio hazard.. hmm, wonder whats in there??.. should i lay down??, nahh, i'll stand instead..
pow, a stitch and some bandages sends me on my way.. was it worth it??, probalby not.. but at least we had dinner. love drew

i'm not here

2003-11-19T08:11:11Z

So how long does it take to understand??. We can't decide.. But still to watch is what we choose.. How do we decide between fate, or just a portent? this is what its like to be in the thesis stage of a human society.. or as some put "an exclusionary device". But who wants to know the truth? If people were given a choice, i would bet on a tipped scale favoring ignorance.. because it all boils down to the fact that we're just mammals.. and we lead our tube shaped lives with visions of a parallel universe.. i laugh at you.. signed.. willto

we're all just devices in the end.

2003-11-19T07:52:04Z

No matter what one does in life. No matter where one think they're going, they're still just a device in which others feed emotions off of. And the more we fight it, the more it proves itself. So time has passed since then, and I can at least wonder. Maybe one day... But you give the happiness to others... It proves sick and twisted. these onerous tasks.. A life so small and so insignificant? Who decides when it's time? He was just a device. But he brought so much happiness.. The words won't make sense, just close your eyes and you won't see. A simply complicated man fixed on his goals and poised to quit.. But the end of the device is bringing him down.. Not because the happiness he once brought, but because he did not deserve his fate.. i guess we all will see what it is we need not know yet..

spark this.

2003-10-29T07:39:33Z

And yet another walk through the streets blessed with that mans malcontent. His "stuff" set in three mounds, placed abreast, on the bleak grey sidewalk.. He looked so clearly up the street when only it was to occupy his thoughtless psyche.. no. i do not look with contemptuous eyes.. I see a man clenching onto sanity.. dauntless in his ambitions.. perhaps content with what he has made for himself??? I'll ask him one time. Love Drew

as soon as i'm gone it was over

2003-10-21T21:41:32Z

The words start in my stomach, but fail to reach the back of my teeth.. bottle bottle bottle.. hey man.. you crazy... you crazy i'm so sorry. love drew

Battle Royal

2003-10-16T06:07:24Z

So tonight, mike and i watched a foreign (japanese) film called "Battle Royale". After much toiling with getting the sound and picture to match up, we finally won. Let me tell you real quick, a little summary of this flick. The BR act was passed by japan. This means that 40 7th graders, all from the same school are sent to an island. They have 3 days. In this time, they must kill each other leaving one survivor. They have collars on that will kill everyone if the time goes past 3 days. thats enough said.. now you will go and see it and i promise you will 1. get really confused because its hard to tell all of them apart.
2. get really confused because the plot just is so damn twisted. but on that note.. you must go see it download it, anythingg. it's worth the 2 hours.. ok ok, no work got done, there's still tomorrow.. love drew

you won't

2003-10-14T06:26:27Z

"Turn down the lights,... turn down these voices inside my head."
Those are lyrics from a Bonnie Raitt song. Why?, because she's a good singer. Thats why.

they call it an indian summer

2003-10-09T21:06:56Z

ahh. how I yearn for such fulfilling breaths of air tasting of smog and community.. The cries of this city remind me of lifes triumphs and misfortunes. Every horn heard, every ambulance siren, every breeze that makes its way through the catacombs of this place remind me of what's real, and what I continually find myself fabricating in my neural network.. on this hour, i find myself being so careless yet intuitive. exhausting what the world has created.. the devil's advocate.. yes for this hour marks the coalition of opposites. love drew

yes

2003-10-07T05:38:04Z

So I found a Gucci watch on the ground, perhaps knock-off?, but perhaps not, due to the old looking state of the thing, circa 1972, makes me think it might be more authentic then i think.. to much work tonight, the blood pressure building up behind my eyes.. ok, sleep is in my lungs. and i will succumb. love drew.

crazy

2003-10-02T15:13:04Z

oh we're never gonna survive, unless, we get alittle crazy

the world trade organization

2003-09-25T04:25:07Z

oh geez loise, way to much work to do. Instead of doing it, i have decided to update. Anyone have any thoughts on ideology and dialectical thinking? Essay due in a day on that. Haven't even started. I can't bring myself to read this seemingly frivolous crap. Yeah you get flak.. you deserve it. how dare you write this work. for I shall suffer over it. enough!!
crazy.. love drew

hoot.

2003-09-23T00:19:47Z

Ok.. so i've decided to update. hmmm. This past weekend was a much enjoyed one. We saw Cursive last night and got the team eleven demo to gabe(midtown), two of the guys from the blood brothers, and one to the drummer in on the might of princes. I guess it was a success for us. We've also decided that we're going on tour this summer. KB and Greg decided that they are going to sell their cars this coming summer and purchase a van. (hopefully a mark III) Yeah. won't happen, but pipe dreams are always fun. Anyway, they're coming back with their friend Brian tomorrow. Co & Ca at the Knitting Factory. Needless to say, all of these shows help solidify my decision in coming to NYC. Anyway.. i really should get some stuff done.. so i think i will, until next time (insert 2 month hiatus here), peace
Love Drew

It's more then time we need

2003-08-28T06:13:17Z

Well.. It's been quite a grand hiatus since my most recent entry. But the reason is, in the space i have create for myself, needs no letters, words, sentences or paragraphs. It needs just the phrase heard, followed by an appreciating laugh for the memory invoked by the comment.. I'm at a loss of words. So confused, yet so focused on what i want for myself.. I see things everyday. That came from someone's brain?? How??, what can make one decide on a creative end.. to stop. you can't stuff it in a box. a rectangle where nothing can exist but what the world has created as a model for what can exist.. How do you leave, look beyond that box. how do you leave that state of mind.. free of frivolous ideas and extraneous thought processes. Why are some people built that way??, living a benevolent lifestyle sounds intriguing.. But being the outlet for the world is far more fruit full.. I'm sorry that this doesn't make sense to a single soul.. But i just needed to speak my mind.

for me, its a common experience

2003-07-30T04:19:10Z

perhaps a common compliment, or even a hello.. is it to much to ask for?, in this hierarchy of friends.. be yourself.. or howbout just grow up.. To much tention in the air for me.. I can't hang out when i'm hanging out.. perhaps look up the word tact in the dictionary..
we did it once.. we spoke of being past that.. yet i see it every time.. perhaps trying to not be poised to jump on the opportunity for attention whenever it arises... maybe one day we can in fact move past this.. but till then. I can wait for you to grow up..

ohhhhh, hotness

2003-06-27T19:10:59Z

Well anyway.. the days are flying by, but the weather is a healthy warm that makes me glad for the phenomena called shade. The apartment is acquired and the excitement for the "New York City" is quite "enticing". Thats me putting quotations in irregular spots.. haha, so my basement is all changed around, making for the rather workable studio space. The only problem is the studio itself.. Well, not really that, just the fucking computer. I think Mike, Pat, and myself need to have alittle office space action, consisting of a bat, and my computer. "damn if feels good to be a gangsta". oh man, cheesyy. i love it. Well, really, i'm at a loss of words. Though it may not seem it. ju june, what, 25, 26??, dunno. day??, i thiiink its friday, not 100% on that. actually it is!, i just remembered, I get payed today, and thats bad ass. I'm only going to be a sophomore in college and already, profit motive is keeping me stable. The thought of having money in my pocket. See you later mom, i'm going to get dinner. mmmmm.. no more golden coral. that place was the worst. there's always that severely over weight person coughin non stop. and amids the fit of diaphragmatic twitching comes the scarfing of a most horrid feast, featuring, really nasty chicken parmigiana, salad that is made from the soggy lettuce thats left over. and this icecream that you can swear was a brick before its present state.. yeahhh.. enough of this, i'm goign to shower and make something of my day now. love drew.

ha

2003-06-12T02:29:17Z

just need to comment on my awesome spelling in my previous entry. that is all... wayyy to tired. sleep would be good.